I DID IT!!!

 After four long, draining years, I am finally finished with my doctorate degree. Whew! I am now Dr. Nicolya Williams.....it still does not feel real. I remember wavering over whether to begin my doctoral program at all, and I was initially concerned due to the time commitment and academic rigors involved. Luckily I had some supportive people in my corner reassuring me that I could indeed handle it. I have literally been in school for 26 years straight!  Even saying that out loud makes me tired! LOL 26 years straight with no time off in between to breathe....talk about commitment-HA! My primary schooling was completed in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.  Following high school graduation, I pursued my bachelor’s degree at The Ohio State University, where I double-majored in psychology and criminology. Thereafter, I attended The University of Dayton to pursue my master’s degree in education, with a focus on community counseling. Not satisfied with just one counseling license, I chose to add to the master’s level studies by undertaking additional studies to focus on school counseling....basically a double master’s degree.  These two counseling licenses have opened new professional options for me. While enjoying my split careers in both counseling fields, and then again without a break, I chose to enroll in the doctoral program for my Doctorate of Education (EDD), with my focus on Professional Leadership, Inquiry, and Transformation. I chose this degree because I wanted to focus my power on having the best impact on education and leadership that I could possibly have. It has always been my dream to transform women's lives, and I was confident that my EDD would give me the skill set to achieve that reality! Funny, what I learned along the way is that the skill set was already within me....My God, all I needed was the confidence to pursue it. Starting a doctorate program was not an easy decision. I worked a full-time job, a part-time job, I volunteered bi-weekly, I was a single mother with two young kids AND I was getting my personal development coaching business off the ground. Talk about busy!  I knew when I committed to the doctoral program, though, that I had to be seriously dedicated or it was not going to happen. I have learned that we make time for the things that matter. On top of being busy, I was truly questioning if I was "cut out” to get my doctorate. Curious as to the number of people who seek and obtain a doctorate, I learned that it is estimated that less than 3% of the population hold this high degree of education. In my immediate family, only my brother was pursuing his PhD-no one else. And to be honest, I did not initially believe in my skills. I was not a stellar writer and struggled often to complete assigned reading materials or research assignments.   As these are the key requirements of a success in the graduate program, I knew I needed some serious mindset remodeling if I was going to make it. Knowing what I needed to do and actually doing it were two different things.  I had to believe I was a good writer, researcher, and reader and to believe that I was made to succeed in this program. This interpersonal struggle is now funny because the question that I get ALL the time now is "how did you learn to be a great writer?"  I have never considered myself a good writer. In fact, in high school, I was actually told I was not a good writer. After writing 8 books, 2 planners, a journal, multiple lesson plans and blogs, it may seem like it got easier but it did not. I still had my own limiting beliefs along with the very voice of my early teachers telling me I was not good enough. Even as I write this blog post, I acknowledge that my writing deserves a good once over! When I was in graduate school, I was again discouraged more times than I could count. I was told that my writing was not “scholarly” enough.  Funny thing is, that my writing style is very much like how I speak. My mind runs a million miles a minute and it is rare for me to slow down to take a break. In turn, I think this busyness is reflected in my writing. Anyways, if I had a nickel for every edit made to my scholarly or professional writings, I would literally be a millionaire. The first draft of my dissertation had 8,312 edits -- and they were major edits!  Imagine what that did to my psyche!  If I am being honest, I got to a point in my life where I started to question my goals and if writing was even something I should be doing any longer. Luckily, I held tight to following through with what I started. During grad school, my work product was often subject to do-overs. I was criticized for my writing style and my research approach. During grad school, I was confused and tired—and almost broken. BUT.... I learned that failing was not an option. Even if my work product was not correct the first time, I wasted no time in making the necessary revisions or edits to make it best. Even if I was criticized for my beliefs, writing or my research approach, I maintained my self-confidence in the material I believed was relevant to the educational studies. In grad school, I learned that even though I was tired, confused and mentally defeated, that if I held tight in the storm there was a rainbow on the other side. All in all, I share this to tell you that you are BEYOND capable of doing exactly what you set out to do! You may have obstacles, you may even be too busy or overwhelmed.  You may need to revise and tweak your plans before it is perfect. But all the effort you expend is strengthening you for the outcome and success you have been seeking! After completing my doctoral program, I could not be more grateful that I held tight to my dreams and NEVER let anything or anyone (not even myself) get in the way. Stay encouraged, LOVE!